Well Hell…..
In case you are offended by the “h” word in the title post, let me tell you I mean it literally. Here’s why….
Right after my dad died I experienced my first bout of depression. Soooo not fun. Because “chemical imbalance” runs in my family (hey….those of you who know me, know that I have NEVER claimed to be “balanced”) I automatically assumed I had suddenly become a card-carrying member of the anti-depression-pill-taking club and so did my doc at the time. Totally understandable. However, the other issue that sort of got shoved to the back was the fact that at age 34 I also officially became yet another member of a really fun club…perimenopausal. This actually happened one year before my dad died. One of the symptoms of being perimenopausal is depression. Another symptom is…drumroll….hot flashes. (Hence the word hell. I think a man came up with the term “hot flashes” because a woman would have most definitely called them hell flashes).
Now…fast forward about 3 years of being on anti-depressants. I asked my current doc at the time if I could switch my medication to Effexor because I had read on the web that the drug had an unexpected side-effect….an 80% reduction of hot flashes. The doc said yes.
Fast forward one more time to present day. I told the doc I’m seeing now that I really wanted off all medications if possible. One of the meds I REALLY want to be done with is the Effexor. It costs $129.00 a month..that’s with my insurance AND the generic version. Sad part….it’s HELL to come off of. Mad part…I should have never been on it.
So where does that leave me? Right back at the “Well Hell…” part. Coming off of Effexor is so very, very hard. You just wouldn’t believe all the side effects this stuff causes. Way too many to post. Some of the particularly bad ones are brain shocks (hard to explain..think shocky/dizzy sensations that zap your brain, driving out all thoughts for the moment leaving you unable to complete your current thought much less vocalize it), depression (really funny that one), and uncontrolled bouts of rage (think pms X1000). Now add to that the fact that I am now fully menopausal, have moved…leaving behind friends and family, gone back to work after 27 years, having to change my entire eating/exercise habits due to bad labs AND am about to go back to school after nearly 30 years. Yeah….I’m a MESS!
So…I’m trying to take it one hour at a time. I’m up to being one day on/6 days off for the Effexor. I’m so blessed to be at that stage this early (I’ve been coming off of it for a little over a month). There are a lot of people out there that literally remove one little bead (out of about 200) out of the capsule, take that amount for several days to weeks, then remove 2 beads etc. etc. It can take year(s) to come off of it that way. I’m so grateful that God is helping me to do it quicker. I just take one pill then don’t take another until the side-effects are too hard to ignore.
That’s were I’m at right now. One day at a time, one hour at a time during that day. I’m not really sure why I feel so compelled to blog about this except that maybe someone out there may be going through the same thing and needs a little encouragement. If so…you’re not alone. And it is worth it.
Oh…one last thing. Way back when I got on the pills? I more than likely only needed a little estrogen-therapy. Bummer.