jewelz

Posted by juliekendall on December 5th, 2008 in General

Well…yesterday certainly didn’t go the way I expected it to go. It was one of those weird mixed up days where you feel like you’re in a bad sci-fi movie. I had worked very hard for two days to get more stock ready for the “show” (with very little sleep). On the morning of the show, I was up by 5:30 so I could put the finishing touches on 5 more aprons and 3 ornaments. It was snowing when I got up but not heavily. Around 7:00 it started snowing harder so Craig and I decided that I’d better leave earlier than planned. That turned out to be a good thing since it took me 2 hours to get there (normally 1 hour). But the snow was beautiful and really added to the Christmas feel.

My first clue that something wasn’t quite as expected was the fact that we were having our “show” in a very small room at the back of the kitchen. The building we were in was quite big with a good size lobby so this was red flag no. 1.

Red flag no.2 went flying when I realized that there were only going to be 7 vendors there (including me). Then I realized that out of those 7 vendors…5 were all jewelry and 2 were hand-cream and candles. At first I thought this was a positive thing for me until I realized that what few people actually showed up to shop were only looking for jewelry.

The rest of the day could be summed up in one digit….0. I sold nothing. Nobody really even looked at my stuff that much. And yeah….it really hurt. Not so much that nobody bought anything. The fact that I had worked so hard for…what I thought…nothing. Then…as the day worn on (painfully, slowly, crawled onward), God started revealing things to me little bit by little bit….

I had put far too much emphasis on the whole money part of things. I may be able to make the excuse that we really need the money right now but that is quickly squelched with a Holy…you-know-better-than-that nudge by God. He was right (ha…imagine that). I had just read in Mark that morning about the disciples worrying and fighting with each other over the fact that no one had brought any bread along to eat and they were hungry with no chance of finding food. (This was soon after Jesus had fed the huge crowds with nothing but a few loaves of bread and a couple of small fish…TWICE!) This is my paraphrase here….Jesus just looked at them with a are-you-kidding-me look and basically said if He could feed the multitudes…He could certainly feed a dozen(ish) whimpy men…and that forgetting so quickly about the 2 major miracles they had just witnessed didn’t look so good on their faith-o-meters!

SO….back to me….blaming my bad mood and anger on the loss of what I had thought would be some well needed money was my own fault. Money…or the lack of it….was not why I was there. So what the heck was the reason I was there? To listen and learn. And I’m not talking about marketing strategies. I learned yesterday….once again….(guess I’m not so good at learning things the first time around) that “things, power, prestige, and money” are spiritual “drugs” that can ruin your life…both physical and spiritual. I listened for 4 hours to one woman after another subtly and not-so-subtly try to out do the other in who she knew, what she had done, where she had gone and where she lived/lives. Spas, 5 star resorts, designer stores…clothes,shoes,houses, cars, jewelry….California, Aspen, Vail….positions, titles, talents…..over and over again. Each one trying to talk louder and faster than the other. And for every word spoken, God would quietly whisper to me….”this is not what I wish for you”…. “this does not give you peace and joy”….”this is not reality…it is a trap.”

So…after reading this novel….you’re probably wondering how does it end (if it ever actually ends…..)? Here it is…

I made no money. Lost some actually.
I gained wisdom and understanding.
Jesus said that wisdom and understanding are better than silver and gold.
He is right.
We will be fine.
Flowers and Sparrows fine.
I won’t quit sewing…even though I wanted badly and sadly to give up.
The future He has for me is a successful one.
His version of success…not mine.
My place in society may well be far “lower” than I had planned or dreamed.
I’m glad…those dreams can quickly turn into living nightmares.
I have to stop trying to “make it happen”.
What I build is washed away as sand is by water.
Faith is made of rock.
Understanding is hard and painful to come by…
Relief is the peace you get when the hard and painful pay off.

So this is what I’m going to do this weekend. Clean my house. Cook some food for some family/friends. Put up my Christmas tree. Watch old movies while I lovingly make gifts for my family. So there.