jewelz

Posted by juliekendall on December 9th, 2008 in General

Recently, a few of my posts have been on the more serious side of life. I started thinking about that and realized that a few of you might actually think that those “Julie” things aren’t happening to me anymore. HA! So I thought I’d share an incident that happened to me a few weeks back, so that you will know….yes…all is still right in the world.

Let me preface this little adventure with a small warning. If you get embarrassed by bathroom humor…you might want to hit that back button right now. And remember…I didn’t CHOOSE this to happen to me…it just seems to be God’s way of keeping my sense of humor and humility intact.

While out running errands a few weeks back, my body suddenly realized that it had had one too many Diet Pepsi’s and needed to take care of that little problem IMMEDIATELY. So I pull into a quick stop and headed straight back to the bathroom. It wasn’t too hard to figure out which door in the back was the bathroom because it had an empty GALLON jug of milk attached to the key. (Not sure I understand the whole locked up bathroom thing…what am I going to do…steal that yummy air-freshener and hide it in my purse?) The lady in the milk-jug-protected bathroom finally comes out and I rush in behind her, turning to lock the door. I have to swing that milk-jug out far enough to get the darn door closed before it comes crashing back in….the whole time trying not to fall over because I’m both standing and jumping in a crossed-leg position. So I finally get the door closed and push in the little lock button on the knob. I never really heard the little click of the lock and the handle felt a little “undecided” to me but hey….there was a HUGE gallon milk jug on the other side letting even the most obtuse know that the bathroom was in use.

So, after undoing and untucking every little thing, I was finally able to say hello to the porcelain bowl and relief was feeling really good. I was still enjoying that “aahhhh…..” feeling when I heard someone fiddling with the door knob. Now…I’m no novice when it comes to public restroom etiquette so I strongly call out the word “OCCUPIED” having faith that if the person on the other side of the door, happened to be blind enough to miss the GALLON MILK JUG jutting out from the door, and…let’s just be very accommodating here…happened to have absolutely no feeling in either hands so that they really don’t realize that there is a GALLON sized milk jug hanging off the key in the door, they would surely hear me and realize that the bathroom wasn’t empty. Well…as is usual for me…the “norm” didn’t work and before I knew it, the door flew open and so was I! Open right there for all the world to see. At this point I’m so shocked, I just stared at the woman who has stuck her body in the door and without any apology or embarrassment on her part, says…”my friend left her cane in here and we just need to get it real quick”. At that point, my mouth joined the rest of my body and just hung there…wide open. She looks at the little handle thingy next to the toilet and sure enough the cane is hanging on it.So she opens the door even FURTHER (she was a hefty girl) and struts right in (it was a rather large bathroom…single occupancy but big enough for a peanut gallery) and grabs the cane…all the while I’m…well… sitting there thinking this kind of stuff ONLY happens to ME!!!! After wrestling with that huge milk JUG she finally closes the door and leaves me there wondering did that REALLY just happen? At that point, my bodily organs got stage fright and immediately froze up and shut down. So, still in shock, I put it all back together and got the heck out of that bathroom.

The point to this story?
A. It could only happen to ME!
B. If you happen to see a HUGE gallon milk jug hanging from a key on a public restroom door….BACK THE HECK OFF!!!!!